Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
