So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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