Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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