Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize