dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
