Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
