we have pet lesbian snakes
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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