idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
