All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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