I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
