We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize