The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
