I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
