Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
