Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think my vagina is haunted
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
