I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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