People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
