Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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(310): View more from California

I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..

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(513): View more from Ohio

I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash

(1-513): View more from Ohio

GO. BACK. NOW.

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(207): View more from Maine

can u get pink eye on your cock?

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(972): View more from Texas

oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".

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(802): View more from Vermont

hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up

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(630): View more from Illinois

If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.

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(314): View more from Missouri

high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am

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