I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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