my vag is so smooth its legendary
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
