i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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