someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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