I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
