he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
