We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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