I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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