i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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