its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize