YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
