"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize