so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
