I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
