i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
