Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
