Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
it hurts more in the daytime
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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