I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Randomize
