don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
