I am spending my child support on dildos
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Someone came in the potted fern
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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