I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize