she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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