You made me cry and you don't even care
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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