That's intense
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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