I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
