Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
