im about as happy as oj after his trial
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
