It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize