Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
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Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?