Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

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  (404): I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00. http://tfl.nu/7rzt
  Replies (9) Good night (5254) Bad night (1166)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.

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  (317): The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints. http://tfl.nu/xoq4
  Replies (6) Good night (1046) Bad night (4857)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.

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  (845): Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere. http://tfl.nu/7gle
  Replies (22) Good night (6602) Bad night (1559)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.

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  (330): I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter. http://tfl.nu/h1kf
  Replies (6) Good night (1015) Bad night (2544)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.

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  (573): Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award. http://tfl.nu/wv69
  Replies (5) Good night (2606) Bad night (726)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"

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  (260): apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much" http://tfl.nu/w7s7
  Replies (3) Good night (5526) Bad night (1073)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.

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  (330): we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it. http://tfl.nu/vxbj
  Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (2100)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks

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  (918): All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks http://tfl.nu/j9e3
  Replies (13) Good night (2146) Bad night (641)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist

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  (360): I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist http://tfl.nu/4ea1
  Replies (12) Good night (726) Bad night (2035)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.

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  (843): AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME. http://tfl.nu/mm0e
  Replies (11) Good night (614) Bad night (1271)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester

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  (607): Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester http://tfl.nu/4zys
  Replies (26) Good night (1020) Bad night (552)
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  (650): View more from California

  Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge

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  (650): Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge http://tfl.nu/undc
  Replies (8) Good night (1396) Bad night (793)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th

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  (307): Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th http://tfl.nu/6ns8
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (366)
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  (190): View more from

  All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way

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  (190): All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way http://tfl.nu/sfii
  Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (295)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.

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  (940): I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/cak3
  Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (376)

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