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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  how did your night go?

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he asked for my myspace name.

  Fav 4 896 3204

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• (914): View more from New York

  he puts the penis in happiness.

  Fav 29 5074 943

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• (561): View more from Florida

  i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed

  Fav 63 1244 11361

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Clearly I went along with it

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• (850): View more from Florida

  it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday

  Fav 2 3423 1098

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

  Fav 5 3305 1128

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No shame in my game.

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• (213): View more from California

  If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  do you want to shower with me?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you

  Fav 1 1338 583

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• (407): View more from Florida

  My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.

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