the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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