honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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