Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.

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(301): View more from Maryland

ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.

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(360): View more from Washington

Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye

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(607): View more from New York

you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.

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(517): View more from Michigan

You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.

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(835): View more from Pennsylvania

Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now

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