I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
