Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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