Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
