he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
