she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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