Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
