Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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