I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
